Posts Tagged ‘socially awkward’

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Books I’m giving my brother for the holidays

December 21, 2014

Last year, I gave my brother a bunch of books for the holidays. He professed to enjoying receiving them all. He hasn’t said which ones he liked reading. But, as a I said last year, we aren’t great communicators.

I also suspect he most liked me setting up his email even more: a “friend” had previously set up his email and it intentionally misspelled my brother’s last name. I, of course, sent the gifts to the correctly spelled name, my head being unable to cope with that sort of breakage. Anyway, I made a corrected email address and then forward the old account to the new one and sent him all the passwords (which he expected me to remember this year, hah!).

When I called to ask for his daughter’s addresses, we chatted for a few minutes. He said he’s reading a lot these days and would love more books, especially science fiction. I got excited, exclaiming I have the perfect gift. Sadly, he’s already read Andy Weir’s The Martian– three times! At least I know I’m on the right track.

I made a new list, partially from the ones last year that I’d forgotten or fell off my list. So far I’ve already bought

  • Neil Gaimen’s The Ocean at the End of the Lane. I asked Chris where he thought someone should start with Neil Gaimen and he thought maybe American Gods and I thought maybe The Graveyard Book thought that is young adult. But when I thought about about really-good-books without taking into about the author, The Ocean at the End of the Lane is higher in my personal ranking.
  • Ernest Clines’ Ready Player One. As soon as my brother said The Martian, I thought about Ready Player One. I don’t know why they are linked to me, maybe because I wish I’d written these books. No, not because they are popular but because they are deeply harmonic with the noise in my head.
  • Keeping with fiction, I went ahead with Ender’s Game. In Amazon, it is filed under “Classic Science Fiction” which where it belongs. The movie was not as good as the book (in large part because you couldn’t get a kid as young as in the book). I don’t necessarily like Orson Scott Card and I think the Ender books went on for much too long. But this is a great book and it was on sale.
  • Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn Trilogy. Chris introduced me to this fantasy trilogy. Sanderson is so prolific, it can be tough to figure out where to start. This trilogy is fairly well encapsulated and a lot of fun. I have only dipped my toe in his other work though Chris gets lost in it.
  • Matthieu Ricard’s Happiness. Written by a molecular biologist turned Buddhist monk, I suspect my brother will like this book more than I did. I quite enjoyed the first 25% and then it lost me a bit in the deeper areas of Buddhism. I’m fully willing to believe (and practice) that happiness is a skill that requires practice and attention. However, I’m a product of Western education, the eradication of self is inexplicable to me unless he means balancing the System 2’s lies to cover System 1’s laziness (from Kahneman’s Thinking, Fast and Slow). That makes sense to me but I’m not sure that’s… Anyway, my brother mentioned an interest in Buddhism and Happiness is the obvious book for him if not for me.
  • Randall Munroe’s What If? Ahh, come on, we all read the wonderful XKCD webcomic with its mix of absurdity, love, and science. And I read the What If? blog with great enjoyment. I suspect my science-loving brother will love this though I worry that he may not be familiar with Munroe’s other work. I wonder if that will decrease his overall enjoyment, I hope not.
  • Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half. Last year, I got the hardcopy of this for several people. My brother-in-law never laughs aloud and he giggled through it. A visiting friend seemed a bit depressed (in part because he was visiting over Christmas to meet stupid work deadlines and because his cat had recently passed away) and we put this in his stocking, getting a few giggles from him as well. It is a great book that covers some fairly deep territory with panache (and humor). I recommend it to everyone. Though I’m concerned about the color images on a kindle (my brother said he had a color screen, I hope it all works out).

I started working on this list last week, making an Amazon gift list so I could pile ideas together. Strangely, this shows me just how much the prices fluctuate. Both What If? and Hyperbole and a Half were discounted 30% when I went to look today (and add another book I was thinking of). Now, I’ve decided to go ahead and leave the list a little broad, maybe a few more things will go on sale, helping me decide what else to get my brother. Some of my other ideas:

  • In the popular science category, I have: Ken Jenning’s Maphead about incredibly interesting subject of geography (yeah, I didn’t think it was possible either), Sam Kean’s The Violinist’s Thumb about genetics (and history of discover), Micheal Pollan’s The Botany of Desire about plants mating habits and how they’ve trained humans to care for them, and James Pennebaker’s The Secret Life of Pronouns about the wonderful world of words and the psychology of interpreting what someone means. Vladimir Dinet’s Dragon Songs about crocodilian (and Russian) mating habits almost makes the list but I think that was because I listened to part of it which set the voice in my head better than the writing did.
  • In science fiction, I have Douglas Adam’s The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy which contains all five books. I should just buy this one. It is a little pricier than the cheap ones but, gosh, at a per-word price it is improbably cheap. Heck, I should get it for myself, it is time for re-read of these, they make me happy. Talking about a good value even at full price, my list also has Neal Stephenson’s Reamde. What a romp! But my brother isn’t into computers so the attention to detail may be lost on him (and I already got Ready Player One which is somewhat similar).
  • In fantasy (I don’t normally separate sci-fi and fantasy, any advanced technology looking like magic and whatnot, but that previous bullet was getting pretty long. To keep this short, I’ll just put up some books.
  • Last year’s gifts had a lot of urban fantasy so this year, I tried to be shorter in that. I liked Mur Lafferty’s The Shambling Guide to New York City (and the New Orleans sequel). For all that these are full of dead things, it is a more character driven book than some of the others on the list. Other urban fantasy and some pithiness:
  • Back to science fiction or fantasy or whatever
    • Jumper (I love Gould… though I started with Wildside so maybe that is better. But Exo came out this year (Jumper #4) and so this is better path)
    • The Curse of Chalion (Where to start with Bujold? Vorkosigan is awesome but this is standalone. And awesome. But on the pricey side)
    • The Three-Body Problem (I am so looking forward to reading this book myself! I have such high hopes. This may be an example of giving a gift to someone else and hoping they don’t like it and give it back.)
    • Boneshaker (I remain a sucker for Steampunk.)
  • Last (but not least), I really enjoyed the The Best of Instructables. I seldom go to the website (being ad-phobic) and having them in a book has been awesome for inspiration and general interest. But I’m not sure about Kindle. I’d consider sending him Make Magazine but I’m not sure he’d be into that.

Having learned the price fluctuations in ebooks, I’ll watch them for a day or two and sort out what else to get my brother. Though if I was in charge of making profits at Amazon, now that the shipping window is nearly closed, it would make sense to push the prices of all electronic items up a bit for those last-minute shoppers.

What did I miss? Any books you especially enjoyed this year?

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In which we discuss my hypocrisy

May 12, 2014

About a month ago, I had a little debate with myself on blogging for other sites, in particular turning my EELive presentation into a blog series. I decided that I hate flashing ads (no news there) and I’d like to be paid for my work (also, not a huge surprise).

Imagine the shock when I started publishing on element14 about What Marketing Won’t Tell You about the Internet of Things. So here’s the deal: element14 has editors who proofread my work (reading over this blog is cringe-inducing, clearly I cannot spell or punctuate), they don’t having blinking ads, and they are paying me. It is more than dinner and less than my mortgage. I’m thrilled because I think the information will get a wider audience there (plus Christopher says I should immediately spend all writing-money on self indulgence (I don’t know why but who am I to argue?)).

In my debate-y blog post here, I had a list of other activities that came first. I have done a lot of educational, nonpaying personal projects, really gotten things done (as anyone with a DIY project knows, actually getting things done is unusual). I ordered, soldered, and tested my first board. I’ve fished for jobs, nearly had one and then had it fall through so I need to start fishing again.

I haven’t taken a break from tech, mostly because I don’t really want to. I want to want to take a break. But writing the blogs, working on the are-you-ok widget, and soldering the motor boards: those have been tough to interrupt because I truly enjoy doing them. So given the next idea I have (stuck in the “maybe this is neat, maybe it is dumb” stage), I doubt I’ll actually wander off to garden or paint or something.

But I should get a contract. Someday. After this blog post. Or after I go to the library. Or after I see if my next idea is neat or dumb. Definitely after the sparkfun tutorial comes out (squee!).

Ahh, yes, the are-you-ok widget will be a sparkfun tutorial (soon!). I’m not getting paid for that and it is technically blogging for another side. But it is sparkfun. I love sparkfun. (And adafruit too.) And also, that whole monitoring thing? I wish I’d had it sooner, before my mom fell, was alone for too long, and passed away. Sometimes the projects aren’t about money. I’m overjoyed that it is working and maybe a few people will build them. Certainly, I’ll keep advocating for the manatees (even when one turns out to be an octopus).

 

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Debate with myself on blogging

April 6, 2014

I spoke at the embedded systems conference (EELive!) last week. Things went reasonably well, some events grated on me (and will for a bit though I suspect no one else noticed).

On Thursday afternoon, I gave a surprisingly well-attended talk, especially as it was near the end of the conference. My presentation was titled “What marketing won’t tell you about the Internet of Things”. Obviously, I fished for controversy.  However, once I talked mentioned my presentation was about how consumers were not being well-served by the IoT, particularly in the area of configuration, well, it wasn’t as contrarian (or iconoclastic, a word I like much better, or curmudgeonly, a word I like less well) as it might have seemed.

At the conference, I was asked by three different folks to write for them (four if you count UBM, the organizers of the conference, for which I have already written). None of them offered to pay me.

I’m honored to be asked but my time is valuable.

That probably lacks tact or subtlety or something.

Part of me thinks writing for well-advertised blogs is a good idea: it helps sell my book and I am currently looking for a new contract. It is just a blog entry or two (or four).

On the other hand, it is for their sites (two of which I can’t even read anything on because of the hideous amount of flashing advertising, two of which I haven’t read in the past so I don’t know the state of their blinkage). I can blog here if I want to, anytime, about anything; I don’t even have to edit it or use proper words in any sort of standard order. Also, no stupid flashing ads.

I don’t really advertise this blog and I can’t say I think many people read it. Strangely, this is a big plus for me. If I wanted more readers, I’d tweet more and crosslink from the podcast. But this is a forum I can use for half-baked ideas, where I don’t need to be a shiny-polished professional.

Back to the first hand. On one of the sites, an audience member for my talk wrote up a short set of blurbs from my talk but it boiled an hour long talk into a thirty second read; my talk made little sense if that was what you heard of it. It was great to get the write up but frustrating to read the comments because they seem to think I’m an idiot. I could do ~10 entries, using my slides and talk. If I wrote them all next week and slated them to release every week, it probably would be only about two days’ worth of work.

Back to the other hand, these sites depend on content. That is how they make money. Why am I doing their job for them? Why would I work for free so they can get paid? Exposure is insufficient, I’m feeling a little overexposed right now anyway.

Do I even want to get paid? We just did our taxes and more revenue streams makes for more complexity. Also, why would I work for less money than I do when engineering? That grates more than taxes: the blogs can’t pay me engineering rates, mine are too high. Working for less devalues my time. (But working for free is pro bono, a different compartment.)

I have many options for what to do with my free time:

  • work on educational, nonpaying personal projects (ayok widget, soldering things, this blog, our podcast, take an online class or two)
  • take a break from tech, exercise more and genuinely slack
  • fish for jobs, emailing friends and checking job boards (though most of my business comes from referrals so job boards don’t pan out)
  • write for other blogs, get exposure for podcast and book, maybe ask them to pay me though it will be at a fairly low rate
  • house and business chores (reconcile business bank statements, make a new website for Logical Elegance (one that loads faster and links to the podcast), gardening)

Given this list, how should I prioritize it? Actually, I think it is in priority order (if priority is akin to desire to do these things).

For the two weeks prior to the conference, I spent about an hour a day working on my presentation (this is the problem with hour long presentations, practicing takes awhile). I can’t say I don’t have the time right now, I could put that time into writing blogs. I will need to figure out which ones and what I want to say there. (Converting the presentation to blog posts would work on one of two of the options. Two others suggested topics, one of which requires somewhat-interesting research.)

To sum up: I’m ambivalent. In the short term, committing to someone else’s blog (or even a magazine) seems foolish, especially as I’m uncertain what I’d get out of it (other than a headache trying to read my post amidst flashing ads).

 

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Brother gifts

December 24, 2013

I had this idea for a way to revolutionize the gift card market, at least for digital media services like Amazon’s ebook or Apple’s iTune. Here is how it would work:

1. I’d buy a bunch of items that I didn’t really care if the receiver wanted but I liked for some reason. (For example, spend $50 buying songs with the word “bride” or “wedding” in the title for a wedding present. Or buying songs that spelled out the receiver’s name when put together. Or purchasing a bunch of gag books related to some in-joke I had with the receiver.)

2. The giftee would get the option to accept any (or all) of the items. The ones unaccepted would become a gift card so the recipient could spend the money however they wanted.

Thus, I could spend some time and thought on a gift but the recipient could get something they actually wanted. Win all around.

Happily, while Amazon doesn’t exactly have this, they have something close. I send gift ebook (or MP3s) and the recipient can opt for cash (well, credit) instead.

It has a few downsides but let me change the subject for a bit.

My brother and I aren’t close. I’m a little sad about that but it has always been true. Our mom used to keep us connected but since she passed away a few years ago, we have to work to talk to each other.

I don’t really know what his life is like other than very different than mine. He says he’s happy. He said he liked it when I sent him steaks (and when I sent him towels but not when I sent him cash).

When he visited once and had dinner, he’d read about ShotSpotter and wanted to talk about the math and physics. I think he reads a lot but I’m not sure. I know he has my mom’s old kindle (3G) but not if he used it.  It is weird, not having a clue what he’d honestly need or want.

When I found that he could trade in books for amazon cash, well, it seemed like a good way to give him something useful and spend sometime communicating that, even though I don’t communicate well with him, I do love him.

Here are the books I sent him, along with some reasoning as to why.

  • When my brother was a teenager, he read Steven R. Boyett’s Ariel. It was a dystopian urban fantasy book, published in 1983, about thirty years before the rest of the urban fantasy. (Ok, there was Charles de Lint which is all lyrical but not dystopian, not very gritty.) My brother loved the Ariel book. Also, when I finally got to read it, I loved the book.  A year or two ago, I found Boyett’s Elegy Beach, published in 2009, written so about the same amount of time had passed in the universe. I didn’t re-read Ariel, too afraid it might not hold up. But I liked the new one. It wasn’t great but I wanted to share it with my brother. Maybe it formed the kernel of this gifting idea.
  • Next on the list is the non-fiction Thinking, Fast and Slow. This book is about how your brain works and how to use cognitive psych for fun and profit. It is the best $3 you can spend. I felt like sending it to everyone I know even though few people will make it past the 10% mark. It is not a difficult read but really, really long. I want to read it again but am intimidated as it took months and months to pour thought last time.
  • Since my brother seems to like science, I put in one of my favorite science books of the year: Kraken : The Curious, Exciting, and Slightly Disturbing Science of Squid. Anything that made me really think about cephalopod intelligence and how aliens may think entirely different than we do… well, I had many lovely daydreams, expanding my ideas. This is an easy read, semi-autobiographical in addition to pop science fun.
  • Next, more fantasy. I got the evil Patrick Rothfuss’ The Name of the Wind: The Kingkiller Chronicle: Day One. I love this book and its sequel. And, like so many others, I crave the final book in the trilogy. (The wait is why Rothfuss is evil. Once he gives me the next (and better be final) book, all will be well.) The writing and the story are both exceedingly addictive.
  • I got him The Serpent and the Rainbow. Of all the books on the list, this is the one I wonder if he’s already read. Maybe. And if he hasn’t, will he think I’m attempting to be hip? Ahh, well, it has been sent so I needn’t worry further.
  • Next, more fiction, specifically urban fantasy, I got Jim Butcher’s Storm Front (The Dresden Files, Book 1). I like Dresden a lot, he’s a wizard in modern day Chicago. He is made up of the hard sort of heroism of Dick Francis’ jockeys in a wonderful, complicated world.
  • Though I agonized a bit over the overlap (and inevitable) comparison, I also got Seanan McGuire’s Rosemary and Rue: An October Daye Novel. It is also urban fantasy, also a hard sort of heroism (though with a heroine this time). These are both the start of their long-ish series. If you asked which series I most want the next installment of, it would be… Rothfuss, damn him. After that, I’d say October Daye even though my husband has only read (and very much enjoyed) Dresden.
  • Back to non-fiction, the next book for my brother is Between Silk and Cyanide: A Code Maker’s War 1941-45. I want him to understand my love of code, puzzles, and spies. This book has all that and is fun to read… both times I’ve read it. It is another big one but a neat combination of history, autobiography, and cryptography basics.
  • I hope he likes science as much as he’s said. Genome: The Autobiography of a Species in 23 Chapters is written by Matt Ridley who has written other genomics books that I’ve really enjoyed, he’s a good storyteller. I plan to look for this one for myself soon too.
  • Since I sent so much urban fantasy, I wanted to balance it out with some proper science fiction so Scalzi’s Old Man’s War was next in the list. I like this series very much. The writing is witty and the stories are tightly plotted. Sometimes a little preachy with its politics, this book remains engaging and interesting.
  • Finally, I got him Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. I recently started reading this book (and am enjoying it). It gets great ratings and I sort of hope it will help us talk to each other. Plus, on sale for $3 so, win!

So, 11 books, trade-able for about $75 worth of Amazon dollars. The main downside is that he has to trade each one separately instead of getting a list. For $75 worth of $1 songs, this would be cruel. Anyway, I hope he enjoys the books. I sure had a good time picking them out.

Ahh, and the ones I thought about sending but didn’t make the cut? There were a few:

So what else did I miss? What other sci-fi, fantasy, paranormal, science, history books do you get for someone you really should know well. I mean, did he read Harry Potter? Would he think those were good or childish? Would I really inflict the endless days of camping on anyone I care about?

 

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Letting go of old angst

October 21, 2013

Yesterday, I went to this conference, nervous due to my normal social anxiety and uncomfortable with my identity as I sporting a “Press” badge.

The first person I interacted with is the one guy at the whole conference that I’d hoped not to see. Of course.

I’ve never been to this conference but this guy is involved with everything IEEE, at least locally so I was concerned he’d be there. Let me explain why I had hoped to avoid him. Because maybe I’m wrong and I’m finally willing to have someone say “cut the guy some slack” or “let it go”.

My book came out two years ago. Just about that time, I decided to upgrade my membership from IEEE member to IEEE senior member. There was a member upgrade night, to meet senior members who could provide the recommendations necessary for upgrade. Soon after I walked in, I found a guy who said my background and resume were so good, he’d be willing to sponsor me as well as write a recommendation. That meant I got to skip a step. Sweet.

I met another senior member who was willing to write a recommendation.

I wanted a third person because I’m an overachiever (and a big believer in backup plans). Though the organizer (we’ll call him Fred as there will be more about him) said two was enough. Since the process had all gone very quickly and they weren’t busy, Fred offered to look over my application and resume. I handed over my papers.

He made some comments on my resume. They were ok, they didn’t really fit with how I present myself. My resume is targeted toward hiring managers, busy people looking for high level information and probably only willing to drill deeper in a few spots. I was proud it was two pages. While the other recommenders liked my resume as it was, Fred felt strongly that I should submit a longer CV with my application. He had specific suggestions for what I should do.

Happy for the help, I re-added the projects and papers I’d clipped. I made sure my CV showed growth in my careers: college, junior engineer, senior engineer, technical lead, manager, director, business owner. I added descriptions to my juried papers and to my magazine articles. I made sure my book and patents were prominent. It was a lot of bragging. And a lot of pages.

A month passed. While my sponsor came through, the other recommendation writer bailed so I needed to find someone. Since I’d already interacted with Fred, I emailed him. I thanked him for his help, describing the changes I’d made, asked if he’d write the second recommendation for me.

Fred emailed back and suggested more changes. Ooooookaaaay… I’d already put in more work than I’d expected but it seemed silly to stop when another hour of fussing would lead to the (tiny) senior member payoff.

I made the changes he requested. As I did it, though, I wondered if my application was so iffy that I needed to do more highlighting of instances success. But the committee gets a lot of applications and I want to make the choice easy for them (Fred’s reasoning but I bought it), so I made the changes.

I re-sent my packet to Fred. He wanted more changes before he’d write a recommendation.

At this point, my opinion was “to hell with them”. I didn’t know why Fred kept putting up more hurdles, what he found lacking in me.

The bar for senior member status isn’t that high: at least ten years in a related career with definite growth shown over five of those years. These are checkboxes. I suppose there is some subjectivity regarding what growth means but I’d say title changes count. I was actually pretty depressed that my new super-CV couldn’t show that I’d met those requirements. I couldn’t really imagine what more he’d want and I didn’t have time to fuss more.

I emailed back to him and said that he’d sufficiently discouraged me, that if my application was so borderline that three passes were needed, I’d wait until I was less borderline. I did not thank him for his help. I was polite (and brief).

About a month later, I got email from a guy I knew from other things, that I’d done a favor for. When I realized he was senior member, I got a recommendation from him. Easy peasy. He said my application rocked. My membership was upgraded with no questions from the committee.

Fred is the guy here at the conference. I don’t know if he recalls this interaction or not. Whenever I see his name on an IEEE ballot, I wince and fail to vote. Part of me knows that he really was trying to help, in his own way. Part of me is angered that he’d put me through so many hoops that I was willing to give up. I don’t know why I was so special or if he does this for everybody.

It isn’t like IEEE senior membership gets me anything: it isn’t even something anyone cares about on my resume. I was only willing to give up a little of my valuable time getting an upgrade that has no value. I ended up spending far more angst and time than I wanted. Apparently, there is still some angst.