Journey vs. Destination

I don’t know her name, I only ever knew her as Liane’s mom. I suppose if I addressed her, it would have been as Mrs. Pritikin but, in the way of teenagers, I doubt I ever addressed her directly.

Liane was my best friend in high school. It was before the word frenemy; that would have described our academically competitive, personally giggly relationship. We spent a lot of time at each other’s houses.

Her mom wrote code for some classified project, I never knew what, only that it was government related. She would talk about the puzzles and about code (even about the punch cards they were finally phasing out). She liked her job, more than my mom liked her drafting job. Liane’s mom enjoyed being smart and successful. She wanted the same for us.

She was a software engineer before I knew the term. She didn’t talk about harassment at work or being a woman in technology. She went to work, came home tired, and helped her daughter’s friend with physics homework.

When we talk about the people who have made an impact in our lives, sometimes the people who simply and happily persist are the ones who make the biggest difference.

I cried when Liane’s mom passed away. It was maybe a decade after I lost routine contact with her daughter. I don’t think I ever thanked her for setting me on this path. But I do remember. Fondly.

Written for Ada Lovelace Day 2014: Celebrating the achievements of women in science, technology, engineering and maths. This was also posted at the O’Reilly Radar site.