Journey vs. Destination

In November of 2005, I wrote a novel.

It was fairly terrible but really, really fun to write (and for me to read). Someone with a resume suspiciously like mine ends up free floating in space and has to save the world from terrorists with the help of her drummer-physicist-engineer husband. (Yeah, that would be C.)

The novel came about via NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and my officemate (and friend). Phil came in one day and said, “I really want to write a novel for NaNoWriMo.” I replied (and I swear I was just trying to get some work done, I may even have had headphones on) “I will if you will.” Phil will not live down the hassling until he finishes his novel. Which I’m sure will be this November.

After two months planning and one month writing, I spent a year editing and refining and then got it self-published through Lulu.com, mostly as a Christmas present to my mom but also to continue the hassling of Phil. A year or two later, Lulu worked out a deal with Amazon. One morning I got to work and there was my book on Amazon. It was very, very cool.

Well, once you get a book (anything) on Amazon, the next thing to do is to get some reviews. Phil, exceedingly graciously given the aforementioned hassling, wrote a 5-star review for me. My mom also agreed to do a review. She gave the novel 4 stars.

Let me say it more clearly: my mom only gave my book 4 stars on Amazon.

Oh, so amusing and cringe-worthy. Both at the same time. There is nothing like your parents keeping you humble.

To be fair, my mom had no idea that a 4-star review was akin to saying “just ok”. Amazon indicates it means “I like it” vs. the 5-star “I love it”.  In her review, my mom says that the work is pretty good for a first time author and she looks forward to more. It is a positive review with a few light criticisms from someone who reads a lot (a lot!) of science fiction and fantasy. She had high standards and my novel didn’t quite merit the same rating she’d give to Bradley, McCaffrey, Henderson, Norton, or Zelazny.

My mom was very supportive in everything I did. I never had any doubt she loved me. But anytime I talk growing up, I definitely pulled out the 4-star review as an indication of how difficult my childhood was. It almost always gets me an incredulous laugh.

Around the time my mom passed away, the reviews from both her and Phil disappeared (Lulu and Amazon weren’t linked anymore and the reviews didn’t apply to the Kindle version for some reason). I wish I’d copied them down. But I’ll never forget them.