Journey vs. Destination

Seriously? I admit that sitting at my desk, staring at a computer, for six hours straight is a normal part of my day (well, when I’m working hard at something). However, six hours in the car makes me feel like a wild animal with a foot caught in a trap.

I don’t like to drive.

I hate to commute, I left a job without a plan B when I couldn’t handle the 15 mile commute (which could take between 12 to 57 minutes depending on traffic, weather, phase of the moon, etc.). And family trips, driving between San Jose, San Luis Obispo, and the LA area, are always a horrible grind, even via the lovely coastal route. We have friends in sunny San Diego who keep asking us to visit, stay in their new home but we never manage because I don’t like to drive that far.

Why would I agree to spend eight to twelve hours in a car for five days there and back? That doesn’t even count the back-and-forthing along the east cost. Sadly, I’ve heard they are called flyover states for a reason.

I’ve lived my life in California, born in SoCal, went to college just east of LA, and moved to Silicon Valley for work. Heck, we even honeymooned in Camel-by-the-sea, only 90 minutes from home. It was great. I did spend some time in Mexico as a child and a summer in Pittsburgh during college, both of which were mostly forgettable. And, it is hard to not visit Arizona (Havasu!), Oregon (hey, look, trees!), and Nevada (Vegas, baby!) when you’ve spent this long in California. I’ve visited New York, Utah, Florida, Washington, Alabama and Colorado for work. And I popped over to New Mexico for a girls weekend once.

But other than the closest states, those all involved planes (and one train). And I don’t really remember much of being there, it was just about getting things done and going home.

How in blazes did I agree to drive across the country, across a whole continent? (Curiously, it sounds bigger when I put it that way, somehow it sounds smaller when I say “drive across the nation” though. Terminology is perspective.)

Well, you see, it goes back to the honeymoon, or really, shortly before that when I got married to C. He’s a wonderful man and we are still in love with each other. Nicely, we also still like one another and find time spent together to be interesting and fun.

Well, except when he’s driving around a parking lot, making me car sick when there were three open spots we’ve already passed. I suppose neither one of us finds that time particularly rewarding though it happens all too often.

But he doesn’t like to fly. He says that this short video describes some of the fears he has about flying.

Since I’m a homebody, that isn’t much of a problem. However, his parents and sister moved to the east coast about a decade ago. They don’t fly either but they’ve driven out to see us several times, about once a year now that I think about it. In May, his sister is giving a graduation performance as part of her Masters program.

People have asked about drugging him to get him through the flight. That isn’t the problem. The problem is the anxiety leading up to the flight there (or if I surprise him, the time before we fly back). He’d be as whiney as I get when he’s looking for a parking space. But it would be all the time (until the flying part was over and done with) and not just until the car stops.

So flying is out, at least for now. Though I promised him a weekend at Disneyland if he gets over it. But that is a different adventure.

For now, we need to get to Boston by May 4th. The one train trip didn’t work out that well: I liked playing cribbage with the old guy in the lower level cantina (there is always one) but C didn’t care for the experience, due to land sharks, I believe. And I admit I got sick of the cramped space.

A cruise around the world would maybe work, though we’ve never taken a cruise. I’ll put that on my maybe-next-time list. Because we are going to drive across the country, err… continent, err… nation. So, I’m a little nervous about this trip. In life in general, I tend to spend most of my time and energy focused on the destination.

One of the goals of this blog is to stop focusing on the drive as a means to an end and instead start thinking about the drive as being part of the journey.