Journey vs. Destination

I went to a friend’s ballet performance last weekend. It was lovely, interesting, and innovative. At last year’s performance, she was awesome but this year was even better. And this year, she did some of the choreography which was vibrant and spectacular.

Now, my ballet dance friend is not defined by her significant other (she’s also an engineer, she’s hard to define in lots of ways). So it is a little odd to say how much she’s gained in confidence since she broke up with her old boyfriend and found a man who treats her as though she’s amazing. Which she is.

He’s applied his interest in photography to her ballet, taking pictures of rehearsals and shows. He goes to all of her performances. He’s successful enough in his own right to be proud of her success. It shows in how he treats her.

I’m happy for my friend because I have a husband like that. He’s so supportive of what I want to do that it seems I have no limits in his eyes.

Do you know how annoying that is? Do you have any idea? Maybe not. Not everyone gets to have a partner like this. Which is sad.

The annoying problem is that when someone else believes you can do anything you set your mind to, you have to limit yourself. I hate having to admit I can’t do something. Or even that I just don’t want to put in the effort to figure out if I can or cannot. It might be easier to have someone say, “Well, sure you could write a book but, it’d be a lot of work, do you really think you can make such a commitment?” instead of “Heck, yeah, go for it.”

As far as problems go, I admit this is not one I’d trade for anything else.

My friend is considering leaving her dance company. And she keeps being asked if she is going to start her own. With her old boyfriend, she would have had to say she couldn’t afford it since he didn’t contribute much to their finances. Today, she said she didn’t want to pay for it. She had to admit her own desires, to think about what she wants, and choose the means to get there.

It is hard work to choose the path as well as walk it. Not that I’m really complaining; I’m happy for my friend that she finally has this burden as well.